I debated long and hard about sharing this blog. Truth is that I started writing it a few days ago and have been praying about what I am to put onto this page. Over and over again God has been saying "share it". It is kind of like last summer when I was having a tough time with matching my expectations for one of the Heart's United teams with God's expectations. God really used that time/trip to teach me things I would not have learned with things going "smoothly". So, I find myself at one of those places again- a place of growth. For me, for Hearts United, for those close to me, for the girls at the orphanage, etc.... I have decided to share my experiences with you and I pray that God uses what I am sharing to help you see what is going on in Haiti from an honest perspective. I do not share to try to gain sympathy or to try to exploit the girls in any way but instead to encourage you (and myself) that God IS at work here- even in the frustrations and "growing pains". :)
So, now that I have shared WHY I am writing, let me tell you a bit about what has been going on here at the orphanage. The best way to describe it to someone is to say that "the honeymoon is over". We all knew it would happen eventually and it has! When the 37 former Son of God girls were moved to this orphanage (Life is Wealth) there were already 40 girls here. A "pecking order" if you will had already been established. New girls would come and go from this place but a few at a time. Then the former SOG girls come and all of a sudden there's a whole new order that needs to be established. At first "our" girls were sick. They were malnourished. They were scared. But one by one those needs are being filled and now they are healthy, more well fed and starting to "test the waters" so to speak.
Life is Wealth had about 5 older girls who were definately in charge here. Enter 5 new ones and it's kind of like a gang situation. Both rivals- both trying to establish their "turf". EIGHTY girls and four boys all living in a relatively small space! You get the picture I am sure.
When I returned in early December I saw some of it, but this trip it is in FULL FORCE. Since I have arrived I have experienced full out fights, throwing of rocks/buckets of water at one another, girls leaving the gate and threatening to call IBESR on the facility (when there is really no problem to report- it's just interpersonal dynamics), accusations of stealing from one another/clothes and bags and things missing, etc... I have been in my room more this trip in prayer and intercession for these girls than any other trip here. I have been frustrated and hurt that I do not know enough Creole to just jump in and mediate. Bless his heart but Redgi has had WAY too many "meetings" helping me talk to the girls like I would talk to my own girls about how Jesus would respond in situations when he too felt persecuted, unwanted, unappreciated, etc... About how they need to know in their hearts WHO they are and rest in that. That at the end of it all, they are only responsible for THEIR responses, not the actions of others. And more.
Unfortunately from my training and background in working with emotionally challenged students at the school I know that this is only going to get worse before it gets better. I should have known the day I got here when Madame Pastor said to me, "I am so glad you are here cause when you are here the girls do not fight." I think it was just timing that they had not fought with me here before because they sure do now. I use the analogy of having a dog and bringing another one home. They have to establish who is in charge, who will be the dominant one and who will be submissive. It is the same here- but magnified by 80.
So, we ask for your prayers. The girls are still wonderful girls. Even the ones instigating the fights. They are just reacting normally. BUT- it is taking a toll on Pastor, on Madame Pastor and on others who feel "torn" and that they need to take sides.
Pastor seems to think removing the SOG girls who are "causing the trouble" is the solution. I do not agree. I feel the only solution is to walk through this WITH them. To pray them through. And to seek wisdom only He can provide. Yes, I have raised 3 girls to adulthood and we had our share of "squabbles" but nothing can prepare you for the drama of all of this. Pray for peace. Pray for rest. Pray that the girls would understand what they are feeling is normal and that God is there to help them transition. Pray that in all of this that He is glorified and honored and even if they do not see it now, some day they will see the love shown to them was from Him and an example of how He cares for them. Just pray please!
And thank you for letting me "vent"/share. It helps to know I am not alone here. I know you are with these girls - even if not physically. I find my comfort in so many verses this week but this one sticks out-
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." - 2 Cor. 1:3-4
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